Tonight, I reaped from God's love for me.
This is an e-mail I sent my campus ministry leader a bit ago tonight...
"=) . Thank you for your email at the most perfect time.
I was waiting for one back but then when i got the facebook message just figured that was it.
Can I just share with you how blessed I feel tonight? And amazed and in love with God?
(I don't know how I'm so open, especially in these e-mails, I just thank you for actually reading them and letting me be open.)
I just had a Bible study with Erin, one of my roomies from last year, and Brian and Rick! =) Brian, Nina (my other roomie from last year) and I got together to do Bible in an hour with Rick 2 weeks ago. Then we decided to meet every monday. Nina hasn't come since because she says she is scared of talking about her feelings. Tonight, I invited Erin on a whim and she wanted to come! Erin wants to come back to hang out with us next monday too! And also, tonight Kelly called me and she was really upset about her parents telling her over and over again that cru has been brainwashing her. So, i got to pray for her on the phone and talk to her for a little bit. I actually got to say before we hung up, "Can I pray for you Kelly?" Then i get your email about being able to go to big break with what little money I have to hold. And then I think about how I'm going to be roommates with Abby next year!!! And I feel so blessed right now. =)
I'm just going to keep praying about life. =)
Have a great night Ryan, I'm going to register now! I can't wait!!
Thank you for having faith that God will provide no matter what. It encourages me to do the same.
Christina"
Thank you to those who have invested in me and others or anyone!
I am so grateful.
Tracy, my discipler once told me, "It will get easier, I promise"
And I never couldve imagined believing her.
I now do. =)
Goodnight world.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Weary and Burdened
"Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30
I just had a wonderful day with best friends and then what happened?
My mom called me and told me about what's going on at home, and all the stress she's handling and then I just yell at her that I can't handle that. I can't believe I let go and just burst. I tried so hard to just listen and support but I couldn't any longer. It's uncontrollable because all I can think is that I am going through enough stuff on my own that anything on top of it is just too tough. And especially when its more and more hard times at home. It's like it never ends. And when it's so far away I feel more like I can do NOTHING and that I can't just work harder or try harder. I don't know what I can do to help except tell my mom to look to the Bible for love and promises from God. But she says to me that she does not want to. Because everything is just downhill all the time, one after another.
Today, the couch from our living room in our house in Baltimore was taken away. Our for sale sign is up and i think it's just hitting my sis and my parents strong because they are living there, or at least seeing it. We all don't hear from my brother, but I told my mom to ask him if he was doing okay in school. students first? or money? and work? or family? It's not as easy as it seems, but it should be right? Why are we so burdened??
What do I think I'm burdened with? I am tired of living my life for myself, it's not really mine to live, so it should be easy. Just live for God. So, why is it hard?? I spend my time trying to find my true friends and act as a witness of Jesus' love but most of all to just really love everyone. Is that so hard? It definitely shouldn't be. But I struggle still with being self-conscious about what I do or don't do, whether I'm in or out, whether I drink or not, and where I go. I don't keep in touch with my family as well and even though I've thought about devoting more time to reading the Word and just listening to God to find out what he wants for our lives in His plan, I can't seem to do it. Constantly I feel like I have to explain myself, which I like to do I because I share my beliefs and ultimately my new life or lifestyle with others who are missing out on God's love. But shouldn't that mean when I lean on God and use Him as my crutch and realize my weaknesses that my burdens should be lightened?? Maybe the answer is just simply living more of my life for Him and that there is still more to give up control of.
I love my family, I do. And I know God has brought these obstacles to us for a reason, this is our chance to bring us all together stronger than ever, and more in each others lives. If we don't do that during the toughest times, when will we? We're still not done, maybe that's why. It should not be hard being a student and learning about the wonders of life created by God, it shouldn't be hard hanging out with friends and sharing a life with others. Nothing is meant to be hard.
I'm signing a lease early this upcoming week to live in a beautiful spacious house with cheap rent with other Christians. I am so thankful for this because it is all i've been praying for. I prob. should have been praying for a lot more in life. But being able to be in an environment where I can grow closer to God rather than be challenged and pulled at every second at home is what I desire and need for next year. When my friend decided that it was too far from the shuttle busses for the weekend bar scene, I questioned it and thought about how I hadn't thought about that. But then I did. And I pray to God that I don't see that as a disadvantage but maybe even a plus. Thank you God.
Being around others who come between God and I are hard. I know you are suppose to stay away from that but how else can I invest in others and just love on them?? Like Jesus loves everyone. God, please take away my heavy burdens as well as my loved ones and everyone who is struggling. And lighten our load as we come to You (more)...
Thank you for being our ALMIGHTY.
Love, Your follower.
I just had a wonderful day with best friends and then what happened?
My mom called me and told me about what's going on at home, and all the stress she's handling and then I just yell at her that I can't handle that. I can't believe I let go and just burst. I tried so hard to just listen and support but I couldn't any longer. It's uncontrollable because all I can think is that I am going through enough stuff on my own that anything on top of it is just too tough. And especially when its more and more hard times at home. It's like it never ends. And when it's so far away I feel more like I can do NOTHING and that I can't just work harder or try harder. I don't know what I can do to help except tell my mom to look to the Bible for love and promises from God. But she says to me that she does not want to. Because everything is just downhill all the time, one after another.
Today, the couch from our living room in our house in Baltimore was taken away. Our for sale sign is up and i think it's just hitting my sis and my parents strong because they are living there, or at least seeing it. We all don't hear from my brother, but I told my mom to ask him if he was doing okay in school. students first? or money? and work? or family? It's not as easy as it seems, but it should be right? Why are we so burdened??
What do I think I'm burdened with? I am tired of living my life for myself, it's not really mine to live, so it should be easy. Just live for God. So, why is it hard?? I spend my time trying to find my true friends and act as a witness of Jesus' love but most of all to just really love everyone. Is that so hard? It definitely shouldn't be. But I struggle still with being self-conscious about what I do or don't do, whether I'm in or out, whether I drink or not, and where I go. I don't keep in touch with my family as well and even though I've thought about devoting more time to reading the Word and just listening to God to find out what he wants for our lives in His plan, I can't seem to do it. Constantly I feel like I have to explain myself, which I like to do I because I share my beliefs and ultimately my new life or lifestyle with others who are missing out on God's love. But shouldn't that mean when I lean on God and use Him as my crutch and realize my weaknesses that my burdens should be lightened?? Maybe the answer is just simply living more of my life for Him and that there is still more to give up control of.
I love my family, I do. And I know God has brought these obstacles to us for a reason, this is our chance to bring us all together stronger than ever, and more in each others lives. If we don't do that during the toughest times, when will we? We're still not done, maybe that's why. It should not be hard being a student and learning about the wonders of life created by God, it shouldn't be hard hanging out with friends and sharing a life with others. Nothing is meant to be hard.
I'm signing a lease early this upcoming week to live in a beautiful spacious house with cheap rent with other Christians. I am so thankful for this because it is all i've been praying for. I prob. should have been praying for a lot more in life. But being able to be in an environment where I can grow closer to God rather than be challenged and pulled at every second at home is what I desire and need for next year. When my friend decided that it was too far from the shuttle busses for the weekend bar scene, I questioned it and thought about how I hadn't thought about that. But then I did. And I pray to God that I don't see that as a disadvantage but maybe even a plus. Thank you God.
Being around others who come between God and I are hard. I know you are suppose to stay away from that but how else can I invest in others and just love on them?? Like Jesus loves everyone. God, please take away my heavy burdens as well as my loved ones and everyone who is struggling. And lighten our load as we come to You (more)...
Thank you for being our ALMIGHTY.
Love, Your follower.
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